Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Bjork V Bush

That’s Kate not George of course. Why should these two chanteuses be up against one another? Well whilst a significant portion of the female pop scene seem keen to out sex one another, Bjork and Bush are secretly living out roles from Richard Crompton’s Just William

Bjork is of course Violet Elizabeth Bott, the ever so spoilt daughter from the “Big House” who in her lisping voice announces regularly "I'll squeam and squeam 'till I'm thick - I can, you know". This threat is made whenever William’s gang the Outlaws refuses to allow Violet Elizabeth to join in on one of their secret missions. Knowing the terrifying consequences of not complying, the boys inevitably let Violet not only join in but take centre stage. Swap the Outlaws for the Sugar Cubes and, the comparison becomes all too obvious.

Whether Violet ever grew up and lost the lisp we shall never know but Bjork seems content with her perpetual role as pigtailed cutie muscling in on the boys’ big plans. Just recently seeing that there was a deal of Outlaw fun to be had in Matthew Barney's cremester cycle Bjork, squemaed her way into both picture and soundtrack.

Kate, ah dear Kate is of course Joan the girl from next door who William has a soft (or should that be hard) spot for. The daughter of a doctor from Dartford, Kate, I mean Joan is far more circumspect about hanging about with the Outlaws preferring instead to attend ballet and tap with mademoiselle Bonchance (ex Royal Ballet you know). Of course with her interest in ballet, theatre and the piano Joan is quite the little performer as well, and was the star of the end of year school production. She even sent a tape to that nice David Gilmour from Pink Floyd who said he liked the tunes very much but that Joan should finish school first.

And the difference between the two? Whereas Violet never grows up Joan catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror one day and realises all that make up and hammy acting is actually quite embarrassing, she then goes into her house and won’t come out for a very long time.

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